A tribute to 'Feh'
by Lord Iron-Balls
Summary: A tribute to my favorite word in all manga I've read, 'Feh', inside a Ranma/Akane romance.


There are a lot of words that are used in great ways in anime, from the universal 'baka' to Inu-Yasha's 'SIT!'.  
One word in particular stands out, however. It is a great word. It is a powerful word. It is used to express confidence and disgust, and is therefore perfect for  
almost all male characters in anime (at least those made by Rumiko Takahashi). The word I speak of, of course, is 'Feh'. It can be used in numerous different ways,  
and almost always fits the purpose perfectly. I won't go into detail about its uses, though. I'll leave it to the champion of 'Feh', Ranma Saotome.  
  
I don't own Ranma. Suing won't get you anywhere. Tough.  
  
This takes place just after Episode 38 of the manga (the failed wedding), so SPOILERS!  
  
A Tribute to 'Feh'  
  
Feh.  
  
It's a great word, isn't it? It allows me to express myself perfectly. You see, the world's got a grudge against me, Ranma Saotome.   
It's made a mess of my life, what with my curse and all my fiancées and everything else Pops has gotten me into, like the Neko-ken training (ugh).  
And now it just ruined my wedding and my chance to get myself cured. Life hasn't exactly been a cakewalk for me. But hey, I'm Ranma Saotome.  
And if you come to Nerima, everyone'll tell you one thing. Ranma Saotome doesn't lose. Sure, I suffer temporary setbacks, like when Pig-boy wanders  
back into town after learning some new technique from the old ghoul. But in the end, I always win. So that's what I've got to say to the world, and all it can  
throw at me. Bring it on. I'm Ranma Saotome.  
  
Feh.  
  
Pops wakes me up as usual, by dumping a bucket of cold water on me, so I beat the stuffing out of him before breakfast. Sure, I'm feeling a little stressed  
these days, what with the wedding fiasco and all, and maybe I hit him harder than usual (given the way he stumbles into breakfast), but it's all the same old routine.  
Hey, wait a minute, Pops isn't going after my breakfast like he usually does. Maybe I really did hit him a bit harder than I thought. Oh well. Not my problem.  
The way he's messed up my life lately, he deserves it. Time to go to school, with my fiancée and almost wife, Akane.  
  
We're still kinda uncomfortable around each other since the whole wedding business. I mean, were we really gonna get married?  
Even thinking about it now kinda scares me. I mean, I was gonna get cured, and Akane really did look kawaii in her wedding dress, but married?  
  
"Nihao, airen!"  
  
Oh great. Shampoo plows me off the fence with her bicycle again. Ouch. Well, as I said, the whole married thing gives me the creeps, but I ain't real happy  
about Ucch - Ukyo and the Chinese bimbo screwin' it up like that. Now she's attached to me in her usual Amazon Glomp, and Akane's doing her  
Uncute Tomboy death glare. I shove her off.  
  
"Look, Shampoo, I don't really wanna see you after what you did at my wedding."  
  
"But Shampoo save you from marrying Violent Girl!"  
  
"It's not like I wanted to get married or anything, but throwing bombs at my wedding was NOT the way to do it. I don't want to marry you either, so why   
don't you just go back to China. I can live without any fiancées. Feh."  
  
There it is again. Feh. Very useful word. Perfect for expressing disgust at the whole fiancée situation.  
  
Oops. Saotome Foot-in-Mouth technique. I kinda forgot Akane was there for that last statement.  
  
"Ranma no BAKA!!!!"  
  
I'm off on a one way trip courtesy of Akane Airways. Looks like I'm gonna land near Dr. Tofu's.  
  
Wait a minute. Why did she send me on that trip? What'd I say? That I didn't want to get married? She didn't either.  
  
Did she?  
  
Uh oh. That brings up some possibilities I would rather not think about. Does she like me? Do I like her? What would have happened if we went through with it?  
Were those tears in her eyes when she sent me on this trip?  
  
Feh. Like I'd have married an uncute tomboy like that anyway. It's a great word for getting around things you don't want to deal with, too.  
  
I land at Dr. Tofu's, and get myself patched up pretty quickly. He asks me some stuff about Akane, but mostly I just brush it off. Like I said, I don't wanna  
deal with it right now.  
  
Since I'm gonna be late for school anyway, I might as well enjoy the walk there, and spend some effort avoiding cold water while I'm at it.  
  
"Ranma! Die for the dishonor you brought on Akane!"  
  
Well, well, well. If it isn't Pig-boy.  
  
"Look, Ryoga, the damn wedding wasn't my fault. All my fiancées are the ones who screwed it up."  
  
Ryoga's beyond reasoning, though. He snarls and launches some wild attacks at me. He just wants to fight.  
  
Fine by me. I've got a bit of pent up aggression to work off anyway. Besides, I'm Ranma Saotome. He thinks he can beat me in martial arts?  
Feh. It's a perfect expression of confidence, too.  
  
I beat up on him a bit and then send him out of town with a Hiryu-Shorten-Ha. He should be back in a few weeks. His problem.  
I do have to get to school eventually.  
  
Surprisingly, there aren't any incidents on the way to school. No old ladies with water, no sprinklers, no puddles. I get to school fine, and since I'm so late, there's  
no Kuno waiting for me to attack me and attempt to free 'the fair Akane Tendo and the Pigtailed Goddess'.  
  
Feh. What an idiot. Still can't figure out who his precious "Pigtailed Goddess" is. I tell ya, 'Feh' has gotta be the best word anyone ever invented for  
expressing disgust.  
  
I have to stand in the hallway holding buckets of water. Not a big deal. Usually I have to do this anyway, and I would have spent this time asleep if I was in class.  
It's not as if the buckets are heavy, unless you hold them straight out for a few weeks. Pops made me do that once.  
  
Things go pretty quiet until lunch, although Akane does seem to be avoiding me. Then, while I'm eating, Nabiki shows up.  
  
Uh oh. Nabiki is only dangerous when she has any kind of scheme in her mind (usually one making her money). The thing about Nabiki is that she ALWAYS  
has a scheme in her mind.  
  
"Hey Ranma, I've got a bet for you."  
  
I'm in serious trouble here. "No way."  
  
"Oh? Then you won't mind me selling these, will you?" She pulls out some pictures.  
  
Of me in female form. Naked.  
  
Damn.  
  
I sigh defeatedly. "All right, Nabiki, whaddaya want?"  
  
"A simple bet. If you win, I destroy these, the copies, and the film. If you lose, you have to pose for more."  
  
"What's the bet?"  
  
"Simple. I challenge you to declare your true feelings to Akane this afternoon, before you two get home."  
  
She said it. The magic word. Challenge. No way I can turn this down now.  
  
"Oh, is that all? You might as well destroy those now. I've as good as won. Feh."  
  
"Sure you have..." She walks away, smiling.  
  
Oh hell. What did I just get myself into? How do I feel about Akane really. Feh won't save me this time.  
  
She's uncute, she's a tomboy, she's... oh, might as well admit it to myself. She's cute when she's mad, she's gorgeous when she smiles, she's... Akane.  
And I'm in love with her.  
  
There. I said it. Now I just need to say it to her.  
  
Why do I get myself into these situations?  
  
After school, I can't find Akane. This is not good. I race back as fast as I can to the Tendo Dojo, but she's not there. I try the next most likely place. The park.  
  
Bingo. Unfortunately, she's sitting at the edge of the pond, crying. I think it might have been my fault. I'm starting to feel bad already.  
  
This is not a good way to start this.  
  
"Akane?"  
  
"Go away, Ranma. You don't want to be around me anyway. You said so yourself. Just leave me alone."  
  
As I said, this is not good. "Akane, I never said that."  
  
"Yes you did. This morning."  
  
"Akane, I said I didn't want to get married. I don't. I'm too young. So are you. We're not ready for it."  
  
Whoa. Where did that come from? I think I just saved my ass there. I really can't stand seeing Akane cry.  
  
She looked up at me with pain-filled eyes. "But if we were old enough, Ranma, what would you say then? Would you want to marry me?"  
  
Oh shit. "I..."  
  
I can't say it. Looking into her eyes, I can't say it.  
  
An expression of deep pain crosses her features. "You... you... just get away from me!" She jumps up and runs, crying uncontrollably.  
  
Before I know what I'm doing, I jump up after her, spin her around and cup her face with my hands. "Akane... I love you."  
  
Oh. My. God.  
  
I said it.  
  
At first she looks like she doesn't believe it. Then an expression of wonder crosses her features. "You - you mean it?"  
  
"Yes. I love you."  
  
Suddenly she's hugging me harder than Shampoo ever did. And then she says the words that make this the best day of my life.  
  
"Ranma - I love you too."  
  
And then we kiss. I can't describe it in words, so I'll just leave it to the imagination. The first real kiss of my life with the love of my life.  
I don't think this could possibly get any better. We stand there, arms wrapped around each other, kissing, not caring about the stares and giggles of passers-by.  
  
You thought I couldn't do it, didn't you. You thought that after all these years, Ranma Saotome still didn't have what it took to win in the game of life and love.  
Well, I showed you and Nabiki both. I told Akane that I love her, and she loves me back. So I've got a lot to express to you both, but I'm too wrapped up in  
Akane to waste much time on it.  
  
So I'll use the word they made for situations like this. You bet against Ranma Saotome. You lost.  
  
Feh.  
  
End.  
  
Romance, WAFF, a little bit of humor, a little bit of angst and a good healthy dosage of 'Feh'. Good combo, neh? Review, please.  
Extra comments, interested in prereading my other stories, random babbling, send to mlamdin@hotmail.com. Hope you liked it.  



End file.
